Embracing the 'up grade of no'.

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Whilst I was speaking in Dublin, I met a lad who my mother would describe as 'canny'. That's because she's from the North of England and it's slang for a cheeky chappy, bit of a chancer but all round nice guy. At my talks I normally give away stuff, and Dublin was no exception. But you have to be quick to put your hand up or you miss out. The Canny lad missed out. He came to my stand to let me know he wanted the freebie but was late to put up his hand.

"Sorry about that, but you missed out, I'm not giving any more away". I said He protested, whilst playing with his mobile phone which was tech spec new and much nicer than mine, about how broke he was and I'd be really helping him out. "I'm saying no" I said On and on he went oblivious of the other people are waiting to talk to me. "I have said no" and I added a hard stare "I know" he said, "but I'm a bit of a chancer and I like to manifest stuff for free, so if I keep talking to you, you might feel sorry for me and change your mind". "Would you like the up-grade of NO? Because I am really happy to give you the up-grade of no, and you know what that is don't you?"

And without me even to mention those two powerful words, which are an up-grade of no, he did as they describe and went off.

In my fifteen years of doing this work there are a few things I have learned:

  • Not everyone's definition of broke is the same as yours. Some people think they're be broke when they're close to having to spend savings.
  • Not every emergency is really an emergency. Some people's emergency is really a lack of patience caused by anxiety.
  • The person with the quiet request often needs you more than the person in tears.
  • Let no-one waste your time because you don't want to be impolite to them. The time you give them, you are robbing from the people who love you, and that is far too expensive to waste.
  • The greatest healing tool is the listening ear, but active listening requires effort. You have to have a lot of down time in silence to allow the listening mind to recover. If you don't you can go deaf to the people you love.
All this comes down to one super lesson, YOU and YOUR time are precious, don't let anyone mess with it, and don't mess with anyone else's.  Even if it means embracing the 'up-grade of no'.