I was talking to a friend who has recently become successful with a project. She said she was receiving snide comments from other women that she found hurtful. She said she needed to become more robust. When she said the word robust I visualised a rubber mat over her heart. One that would keep her heart closed and bounce people away. She wanted to be more robust so she could open her heart more, but not let the comments affect her. She wanted to be seen as a good person yet not be reactive. She felt her only options were to be robust or to give up.
A better way is to build resilience.
The core of resilience is a statement: “I know who I am, and whatever it is that you tell me, about me, I will consider it. But I’ll consider it from a place of profound self-love”.
When people want to tell us who we are, it’s important to consider what they have to say. They may have something to teach us. But their perspective is based on their experience. Ultimately, they must be heard through the filter of the love you have for yourself. Don’t take somebody else’s word over your own heart. That is resilience.
Most people who act from a place of jealousy, or wish to bring you down with some ugly truth, don’t want what you’ve got. But the fact that you are living your dream reflects badly on them if they are not living their own dream. So they feel the need to pop your dream, rather than see the hope in it and use it as inspiration to build their own.
If you don’t have resilience that jealous crap can bring you down when you’re living at altitude.
The people who need the most support are never the ones struggling, everyone loves them, they challenge no one. But the ones living on the outside of their comfort zone, building a new path, they are the ones who are the brave.
Why do women favour the support of weakness in other women and become critics of courage?
You have such strong clarity when you have self-love. You have to make a choice; will you allow their journey to be like a car careering into yours? Or do you hold to the road and say, “Thank you for your opinion, but you have no idea of the journey it took for me to get where I am today, now shut up backseat driver, I’m the one at the wheel of my own life, I’ve got this covered”.