Conflict and inner peace

 I was watching Brene Brown talking to Russell Brand on YouTube. Well, I say watching, I’m normally eating and watching YouTube. 
I seem to have got into the habit of digesting my spiritual, neuroscience, and psychology insights along with my food. I don’t call it multitasking, it’s more multi’asking’. Asking for the answers to what troubles humanity whilst feeling so much better about it AFTER dinner. 

You see I do suffer from Hangery, you know that get in a bad mood because I haven’t had food. 

When something Brene said made me drop my fork. 

If you avoid the conflict to keep the peace you start a war inside yourself. These words come from Cheryl Richardson, whose work is all about self-love.

On the list of things I’ve wanted to change about myself, you know we all have ones of those. ‘I should be less…’ One of mine is ‘I should be less direct’. I know I scare people, and direct with a high level of intuition means I often speak out a little too loudly about the thing someone else has been hiding. I don’t get invited to dinner parties much! 
 

The other thing is my anger at injustice. Well, I actually have a lot of anger about a lot of things. I always thought my spiritual mecca would be anger free, and I obviously haven’t got there is I’m still angry. 

 

That line: If you avoid the conflict to keep the peace. You start a war inside yourself. Made me realise that a byproduct of being intuitive is that you make a lot of wars inside of yourself about the things you can see, but can’t say. 

Firstly, you KNOW it but can’t PROVE it. Secondly, when you do say with the best of intentions you freak people out and thirdly sometimes you just can’t be bothered, not my circus, not my monkeys!

 

Anger is a natural part of being human. Not speaking out when you need to does cause wars inside of yourself. Finding the communication form, the words and the energy behind those words is key. 

 

What is causing a war inside of you at the moment? What do you wish you could say?

Finding our tribe

I spent fifteen years working in the theatre industry and what I found was that every show had an audience. An audience isn’t a group of random people, an audience is a group of people who have a commonality. Not just having something in common, like a love of Shakespeare or Opera. They often have a ‘vibe’ that almost hums to the same tune.

We like to think that we are unique, but we have a desire to fit in far more than we may care to admit.

Finding our tribe is a need to have a sense of belonging. Within that tribe, we want to find a home. If you have ever had that feeling of not belonging it’s quite unsettling. We are biologically programmed to feel a sense of belonging within a community. It’s ingrained in our D and A. That’s why we care so much about what other people think of us. Even though the truth is no-one really clearly thinks anything about us. What someone thinks about you, is only in relation to how they feel about themselves.

When we find people with a commonality it can feel euphoric. Even if it’s only for one night at a music concert. When it comes to working together and forming friendships, it can produce great creativity as we feel safe to take risks.

When it comes to communication, it's not about the words we speak, we also need to understand the vibration the other person is humming. That way we can prove we fit into their audience. Like a chameleon changing colour with its background, we can make other people feel safe to explore and grow. The first step is to intuitively read your audience. Some people you wouldn't want to 'vibe' with, but when it comes to getting a job done, we collaborate better with people we feel we connect to. We also buy from people we 'like, know and trust!' Intuitively listening is key to better bonding in our communication skills.

Who's there for you?

Friendships are one of the things I love most about life.

I think they are often underrated in terms of the impact they can have on you as a person. We seem so fascinated by those romantic loves, we tend to think that our friendship lovers are there in times of need or someone to have fun with, to gossip with and share the stories of our life.

However, I think in my own life and in my experience of talking to clients, the impact of our friendships can be as strong as any family member.

It takes time to build those bonds with someone. Every moment of their time that they give you is often their taken away from work or other family members. They chose you, in a world where our time seems so limited and more valuable than ever.

Those long term friends remind us who we are when we think we might have lost ourselves. Unlike relationships that end, often abruptly, friendships slip. You might not even see it coming with the busyness of life. But before you know it, it’s been too long since you have been in touch. You wonder, who let go of who? The if they let go of you, did they mean too and would contacting them just be like a weird ‘get the hint’.

‘Connected’ on social media, means you might not notice when the real valuable connection is sliding out from underneath you.

On YouTube by highest commented on film is 'Knowing when to let go of a friendship'. 63,366 views 262 Comments!

Often the comments break my heart. Friendships have an impact.

Pick up the phone, check in on your friends. We can face any storm when we know we are loved.

Do you have a friend or lover with this problem? 

There is a lovely line in the musical ‘A little night music’. It’s at the end of the song ‘Send in the clowns’

“To flirt with rescue when one has no intention of being saved." — Frederick Egerman.

Do you have a friend or lover who flirts with getting help, just never does and you find yourself in the same conversation giving the same advice?

We often flirt with any idea of rescue, but it takes real guts to decide to be saved.

So here’s how to understand them. To be saved is the unknown. You don’t know what happens when you leave the cosy nest of a trapped, stuck situation.

Somehow, at some point, you got into the trap (any trap) as it was at the time the safest option. No matter what that trap is.

The most common trap that people flirt with the idea of rescue from, is the trap of a limiting belief. 

At some point in childhood, you may have believed it’s safer to think that there was something wrong with you than to believe that your parents have a problem. They are your caregivers, the ones in charge of the food on the table or the roof over your head, to believe they are wrong in any way or inept is terrifying. You would be totally vulnerable and that was scarier than to believe something as big as ‘I am unlovable, it’s my fault my Dad drinks, my Mum beats me or I am ignored’. Because you can change and try harder, but if there were something wrong with your parents, nothing you can do. As an adult, the limiting belief stays and starts to hold you back. Because you don’t know who you would be without it, the world without it feels unsafe. So even though you know you could be happier, you’d cash in happy for safety any day.

When you are a caring giving person, and someone in your life keeps seeking your help, but never taking your advice. It’s hard on you. 

Those that flirt with transformation, it’s like a sexual tease, you never get laid at the end of it, but your levels of frustration go up ;) OK I’m only kidding, you get my point!

There are some people who just want a hand out of a situation and have a real intention of using their own legs to climb their way out. Then there are some people who make themselves heavier so they fail at climbing out with your help, but they get to say they tried. 

They didn’t try they flirted with an idea and if you’re not careful, they will have your arm off in the process! 

Bat your eyelids back at them and hope that one day they will be ready for a commitment marriage to change. Because change always takes commitment.

Gut feeling lie detection!

Psychologists tell us that 93% of all communication is non-verbal! So why is it that liars believe that they are so believable?

And why you do call them on it, they act like you have shown them the greatest wrong. Are you calling me a liar? Yes, whilst multitasking by pointing out the bleedin obvious!

When you're intuitive you can smell lye faster than a fart in a car when the heater is blowing up from the floor! Unfortunately, liar’s pants are rarely on fire even with all of that ht gas. Let your intuition guide you when it comes to discovering the truth and don't ever feel that you’re the one that's crazy pants.

See my book You do know - Learn to act on intuition instantly

Not feeling good enough or ready?

In all the years I have been seeing clients, I can tell you that most issues are symptoms of one limiting belief. Solve that limiting belief and all the issues go away at the same time.

Often people come to see me thinking they are awash with problems. Like a tree with many branches and leaves, but it still has one trunk! One of the number one limiting belief is ‘I’m not enough’ or ‘I’m not good enough’. I asked of one client ‘good enough for what?’ You could also ask ‘good enough for who?’

I think we all believe at some point we will feel ready and we never do. As a kid, I expected to feel like a grown-up and I never have. In this film, we look at how to overcome some of these ideas that we believe are holding us back.

How to have the right kind of ego

Power - Is not a dirty word. But, I do have a dirty word for you. That word sounds like W-anchor, and if you need me to spell it out for you, I’d just sound out what I wrote but possibly not out load! We have a profound fear of becoming an egotistical W-anchor, when we think about stepping onto our power. You know the people I mean, the abusers of power, those who use it to control. We tend to not like those people, as their definition of ‘power’ is ‘I’m better than you’ power, that’s known as ‘power over’. If you are one of the wonderful people in this world who know they are here to ‘empower’ people, then you are a lover of ‘power too’. Which give power. However, most of the spiritual people I have ever met who want to empower others are missing a vital element. They DON’T own their power.

So when they go to empower other people they use their own life force to do it. They get exhausted, burnt out and can end up feeling used. They will also attract people who love the attention of their victimhood, rather then the people who just need a hand up, they want pushing from the back side up. The reason people who want to empower often haven’t stepped into their own power is this fear of being an egotistical W-anchor. So let me spell out the difference. W-anchor power over ‘I’m brilliant and I’m better than you’. ‘Power too’ I’m brilliant and I use my brilliance to serve others. BOOM!

Dealing with imposter syndrome

Do you have a lack of self-confidence and anxiety? Maybe you have doubts about your abilities, achievements and accomplishments?

Inner negative self-talk, feelings of inadequacy and dwelling on past mistakes can leave you feeling and not good enough. These can all be described as signs and symptoms of imposter syndrome.

But let's face it they can all be signs of being right out of your comfort zone. Which isn't at all a bad thing!

In this film, Becky Walsh turns on its head the idea that feeling like an imposter is anything than natural and by trying to fix it, you become a victim of procrastination.



What is spirituality?

A friend of mine said 'I'm not very spiritual'. It made me ponder exactly what IS it to be spiritual. When I asked her what she meant by being spiritual, she had a clear idea of a demographic of people. They all do yoga, they all light candles, burn incense and practice mindfulness.

This to me isn't spirituality.

The word spiritual originated within religion. You now might hear lots of people saying 'I'm spiritual but I'm not religious'. Spirituality has become it Once you had to be a scientist without religion as the two weren't compatible and scientists were excommunicated from the church. Often now science and spiritual thinkers are found as one in the same person.

If all religions have one common thread that runs through all of them that thread would be love and kindness. To me the definition of spirituality is to view the world through the filter of love and that the action that represents love is kindness.

In this film, I discuss this and how to put spirituality into your life with very little effort.

Why your boundaries don't work

Why is it we date or meet the same the same kinds of people, or why we have patterns of events that play out in our lives - such as always getting bullied at work, or always being the person that supports the underdog, or always being the person who makes sure the birthday card is signed by everyone, but who never gets a card on their birthday. Or you’re always the person everyone turns to, but when the chips are down for you, no-ones around. They say ‘build boundaries’ and yet if you have tried… they don’t work. ‘Why is it that people push your buttons, step over your boundaries or simply act in a way towards you that shows zero respect. It’s time for the most effective change of your life.

Morning meditation for an intuitive day

Enjoy!

Use your intuition and start the day right.

In the past few years there has been an increase in the use of the word intuitive. This increase has been a direct result of the way we describe the intelligent functionality of technology, such as a smart phone or an application. In addition many business people, such as Apple creator Steve Jobs and Virgin tycoon Richard Branson, have credited their success to 'ideas through intuition'. Intuition is no longer seen as something wooly but as a valuable life skill. We have also seen a rise in the popularity of books that talk of 'silencing the mind', revealing the importance of being without ego. You Do Know blends these two subjects together by explaining how to make decisions without ego, therefore making decisions without fear. Many people don't know how to trust their intuition. In You Do Know,

Becky Walsh explains that this is because until now people thought there was only one kind of intuition. Becky has made a revolutionary discovery: that there are two forms of intuition. One form works through ego and the other though love. To back up this realisation she has turned to neuroscience, psychology and spiritual teaching to draw all the pieces together. In addition, Becky explains how interactions without ego-judgement affect us positively in friendship, business, relationships, family and community. This shift will change our world dramatically from both a personal and global perspective, as we realise that intuition is the key to the shift in consciousness that humanity needs to fix the problems we currently face.

My truth about pricing

You know when people say ‘People value things they pay more for’ do you think that’s true? Personally, I love a bargain! I don’t think I value it any less. So here's a bit of history. I used to work for donations. Once they equaled out, that became my rate. As my work grew, I got a book contract with Hay House, I had a radio show on LBC, and I got an incredible reputation, people were always telling me that I needed to put my prices up. Even my clients said it. Other people in the same profession said I needed to go for a long swim into my navel and look at why I was so cheap, they felt it was because I didn’t value myself.

Well, I found a lot of truth in that, so I put my prices up until I winced.

You see the culture of charging a lot for services originates from America. When I lived in America people even thought my wince prices where too low. In the US your health is connected to your income. In the UK, that means you get to buy green juice and not frozen pizza. In the US, low income = no health insurance. You have no idea how much easier business is because of the NHS. You just don’t have the same kind of pressure living in the UK. We can afford not to like the hard sell!

Coaches who are coming through B school are taught that it’s the perception that sells and that the right marketing is worth more than the level of experience in the job. Some of my ex-students change more than I do.

However, there is a simple fact, you can only pay with the money you have in your pocket. What you can't afford you don't get to have. Pricing is hard, it's confusing and to me, it comes down to, do I want to be busy with clients or busy marketing to get a more financially privileged set of clients. The answer for me is obvious. I also know that other therapies charge less money as they keep the client in the chair for a number of months when I can shift someone in one conversation. Which saves you a heck of a lot of time and repeated appointments. That's also why I charge more than the average therapist. I need to be able to afford to live and do the work. Which is why I freelance for the BBC and work other income streams too.

Nowadays, I have full power self-esteem. Full understanding of my value. I am priceless! How I have changed lives for around twenty years couldn’t be counted in money terms. I am the old wise women of this work, with experience that should be paid for. I'm not glossy, I'm authentic and real.

My realisation is this. Yes, I am worth way more than I charge. But MY sense of value in this work isn’t attached to the energy flow of money. It’s charged to the energy flow of connection and transformation. There’s no point in me flicking my hair and saying ‘because I’m worth it’ when good people who need me, but can’t afford me.

My realisation is that I DON”T care if people think ‘she’s cheap she can’t be that good’. I believe when you need help you want it to be the right help and you shouldn’t have to put massive pressure on your finances to get it if you’re already under pressure. I’m not going to drop my prices.

What I am going to do is operate a sliding scale for people who earn under 25k and have no savings. The no saving bit is because I have been stung before. Often the people who tell you they have no money have it tied up in a flat they own in Covent Garden (I’m not kidding) Wealth is often a perception and because of this, you’ll need to have a chat with me on the phone so I can read intuitively what is the best price for you. I think this is the right thing to do. What do you think? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Lots of love Becky

Replies:

I think your sliding scale is a wonderful idea. As someone who earns under £25k and is on a debt management plan, this kind of thing is a life saver. I want to develop myself and need guidance doing it, but choosing between eating and self development is not something anyone should have to do! Thank you for keeping it so real ❣️

Your email actually made me cry, to hear someone in this profession keeping it so real ♥️ Three years ago I paid a high end coach money I didn’t have, she encouraged me to borrow money off anyone I knew who could lend it to me, I did and it took me two years to pay it back and the only business advice she gave me was to go back to my old career.

Excuse my french but fucking right on Becky !!!

Awesome!

Becky gets emotional about her clients

I was told I should ask people for reviews of my work. So I did and this happened! This has been my third or fourth session with Becky and, as always, she's been spot on. Becky has a gift for understanding/analyzing the issue(s) and giving advice. I always feel much lighter and more vitalized afterwards. Thank you! Tina

Absolutely fantastic! As usual, Becky has come up with some inspiring solutions to help me move forward. It's good to talk to someone who "get's it" and Becky couldn't be more generous with her empathy and creative ideas to help me resolve my short-term problems. Thank you very much for the session! Diane

Becky is absolutely fabulous at getting to the heart of the matter, really shining the light on what needs to be healed and she does it all with such warmth and kindness. Thank you Becky! Frances

Becky has a knack for using her intuition, understanding, and personal experience to relate and put issues into perspective. Michelle

Talking to Becky today was reassuring. She has a kind compassionate heart but is also no nonsense. Becky will tell it as it is, which means that you will get alot of insight and alot of work done in one session. She is clear and concise with good practical solutions that you can move forwards with. All in all I would recommend Becky if you want to cut to the chase and have clear, empowered support. Lucy

Thoroughly enjoyed the session with Becky. Straight in to the challenge I face - Becky's work lies somewhere between a warm comfort blanket and a kick up the backside. So so useful. Thank you! Cherry

Becky was extremely helpful :-) OMG - It was like she was in my head! In my session, she helped me understand how I could start witnessing myself as ENOUGH. Becky gave me good ideas and suggestions on how I might align more to self love and less with self abuse. I so appreciate her light hearted and compassionate approach in our session. I would highly recommend a session with this lovely lady. Mary

Step into your authentic heart power

I don’t know about you, but I’ve been wondering at what is going on as I watch the chaos unfolding in the world. At the same time as it looks like we may be going to hell in a handbag, something new is opening up! Individual, personal, awakened heart-centered power! It's in our psychology to avoid being disliked. If you were kicked out of the tribe because the leader didn't like you, you would die in the cold.

Times have changed and so is our evolution. Now of you stand back and wait for the community to make the change you may be too late! Heartfelt leaders who don't have feel ready or powerful are what's needed to change the course of our world.

Find your emotional resilience!

Resilience is the ‘rubber ball’ factor: the ability to bounce back in the event of adversity and the ability to know yourself well enough to avoid the triggers that can cause mental and emotional issues. Put simply, resilience is the ability to cope with and rise to the inevitable challenges, problems and setbacks you meet in your life. https://www.amplesouthwest.com/emotional-resilience-training/

Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is how we understand and control our own emotions and how we empathise and work with the emotions of others. Let’s be honest, in working situations, there are a number of factors that can add to your stress: workload, time frames, feeling like you’re out of your depth. And yet the number one stress trigger is often other people! Learning how to deal with your own emotions and other people’s emotions means you can create a happy work environment and also get what you need from teams, stakeholders and customers.

https://www.amplesouthwest.com/emotional-intelligence-training/