I’ve said this before in my blog - often clients, who come independently to see me and have no connection to each other, all have a collective theme. I believe, at times, we all share a collective consciousness. When this happens, it leads me to believe that there many others, who didn’t get to see me or speak over the phone that will also be going through a similar issue at the same time. I say this because it also echo’s events in my own life – so I’m writing this blog for everyone. The current theme appears to be one of self-value.
I have had many clients who feel that unless they are doing something to help others, they are worthless. They are of no value unless they are in service. If they do something nice for themselves, they often feel guilty, and even relaxing is seen as a pointless waste of time.
Recently, I met a really nice young man, who has pushed his education and career so hard, he has no idea how to enjoy himself. Other clients don’t know how to charge for their services and are constantly struggling for money.
I often wish that people could see themselves the way that I see them. A person is a mass of pure potential. But more than a potential for creativity or excellence, they are a potential for love. I’m really not one for sloppy, sentimental, lovey-dovey stuff. But if you have ever had a conversation with someone when they are talking about something or someone they love, you’ll see light simply beams out of their eyes like a super hero in a graphic novel.
Having a sense of self-value isn’t so much about charging what you’re worth, not getting taken for granted, not feeling resentful when you are inevitably over-looked, although all of these factors are a by-product, self-value is how we open to self-love. Without self-value we can’t act upon self-love. Self-love remains outside of a physical manifestation of love in action. It remains a dream. When we value ourselves we allow other people to value us. Without self-love we can’t allow anyone to invest their love in us, because we feel like we are robbing them of something we are not worthy of. We simply can’t accept it. We can give, but we can’t receive.
So how do we learn to value ourselves if we have been told or we believe we are worthless? In a session, I coach my clients into seeing themselves differently. Have think about someone who has been a great coach to you. Write down what made them a great coach. Was it how they believed in you? Where they patient and encouraging? Make that coach your an inner voice, one different to the one you might hear that drives you on to work hard, never taking a break. This inner coach tells you you’re doing great, it says, ‘Excellent work, now take a break, you deserve it’. Allow yourself to be a coach or a supportive partner to yourself. My doing this we make a shift, and it changes how the world values you too.