On Friday I was giving the traffic report on BBC Radio Bristol you can have a listen here.
It got me thinking as we get into winter here in the UK, wet leaves on the road and the like, I’d give you some tips of using your intuition on the road. I was given a good bit of advice when I was learning to ride a motorbike - assume everyone is stupid and they can’t see you! But even though a tin box of a car, your intuition can be heightened on the road.
Never ignore a bad feeling in your belly. Put it down to your imagination at your peril. Better to arrive late with no real explanation than not make it. Take a diversion; trust your inner sat nav!
Flashes in your mind of accidents when the road is looking dangerous, is likely to be your fear-based imagination. But obviously go careful, it’s worth slowing down anyway!
Excited feelings about new directions are worth a follow. For example, as you’re driving past a road and you get a pull from your chest to turn. I’ve found many a short cut that way.
On the road (as with the journey of life!), look for signposts in the form of coincidences and synchronicity. Become curious about what you see. Curiosity is the key to intuition. It opens the information and makes it clearer.
If you do get a bad feeling, become curious as you’ll open your intuition and know if it’s a real warning or just your fear talking!
Emotions are words we use to identify and describe how we are feeling at any given moment. These experiences are so visceral that we often deem something to be good or bad, right or wrong, by our positive or negative emotional response.
We can distinguish between emotions and the feelings they invoke, but physical symptoms can be confusing and require us to tap into our emotional intelligence. For instance, fear and excitement produce similar symptoms including increased heart rates and clammy hands – emotional intelligence helps us gauge the experience more accurately.
However if your an empath, you’re a highly sensitive individual and your emotional intelligence is intuitive. You pick up other people’s emotions and sometimes find it hard to tell the difference between your own feelings and the feelings of other people or even the collective residual feelings in a space.
Furthermore, specific emotions manifest more regularly in certain parts of our body. Fear may manifest itself as a sick feeling in the pit of the stomach, whilst anger is often felt in the tightened muscles of the arms and legs.
Interpretation depends on whether or not we like those feelings. Many city dwellers love an adrenaline rush, the place is full of the stuff. If your sensitive all of this is impacting your physiology and your body.
Once we identify a feeling, we create an energetic response in the emotional body. This is what happens when we describe ourselves as falling in love. Whether the event is an intense emotional connection or a mind-blowing physical one, the chemical reaction is similar. Once the event is over, we might analyse the situation and decide that we are not in love after all.
Many things trigger an our own emotional response, the art of the empath is to spot the difference between what’s their stuff and what’s someone else’s, which is almost an impossible task, so we need to use our emotional intelligence to shift ours perceptions.
Our mood is determined not so much by an event or people, but our perception of the event (i.e. our thoughts and reactions to a situation). You can talk yourself into being in love (Yes you can!), just as you can talk yourself out of being in love by perceiving your emotions differently. Theoretically, we can rationalise a crush or get over a lost love by changing how we perceive our emotions. We can do the same with fear.
However, being emotionally intelligent does not mean fooling ourselves or denying our true feelings. In order to believe a perception, we must be convinced of its validity.
So here’ three steps to help you do that:
1 - Look for the Positive
OK before you turn off, I’m not going to give you a positive thinking spiel.
If you step on a bus and look at a sea of sad faces guess what. you’ll feel sad. But what if your presence on that bus could turn that bus experience around for all? As an empath you’re a powerful sender of emotion as well as a receiver of emotion. If you see yourself as part of a divine force serving of love and joy, you will be it, and in turn be part of the solution of change and not part of the problem. You are the thinker of your thoughts, you are not your thoughts.
Live and Love
The common excuse: “I’m scared of feeling crappy, I’m too sensitive, scared of getting hurt .” We cannot truly love if we live in fear. When you think of love, don’t think of what you should be receiving; think of giving. When we feel crappy, it is a call to love, nothing more. Avoiding pain is avoiding life itself.
Accept the Past
You might have witnessed awful people. Learn your lessons from them as if they are the greatest teacher and move forward. Believe in the transformational power of love; it can heal everything, even your perception of crap-bag people. When you stop looking for the bad people, to prove yourself right in your need for your own protection, you see all the great people.
Be a master of your emotions, not a slave. Once we learn how to read and translate our own body language and emotions, we become more sensitive to the needs and reactions of others, it’s in this place we find the real love of life. We start to feel we can be open and not shut down.
Now, that’s what I call real emotional intelligence.
Intuition is a compass that can direct you through life's challenges and towards life's joys. Trusting it allows you to live with less fear and gives you the freedom to make great decisions.
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What makes my mind different?
We don’t all think the same. In the same way that we are physically different on the outside the same is true for the inside. When I hear people say they are sceptical about intuition, it’s because their brain doesn’t work the same as mine. So let me give you some insight into how my brain works so you have a greater understanding of how the skills I have can be of use to you.
One of the things that makes a mind highly intuitive is dyslexia.
In the book The dyslexic advantage authors Dr Brock L. Eide & Dr Fernette F. Eide say:
“Non-dyslexic brains often excel at applying rules and procedures in an expert and efficient manner. Dyslexic brains often excel at finding “best fits” or at ad hoc problem solving.
Non-dyslexic brains often excel at finding primary meanings and correct answers. Dyslexic brains often excel at spotting interesting associations and relationships.
Non-dyslexic brains often excel at spotting the differences and distinctions between things. Dyslexic brains often excel at recognising the similarities.
Non-dyslexic brains display the order, stability, and efficiency of train tracks, well-organised filing cabinets, sequential narratives, or logical chains or reasoning. Dyslexic brains store information like murals or stained glass, connect ideas like spider’s webs or hyperlinks, and move from one thought to another like ripples spreading over a pond.”
What these skills mean in a consultation is that I can see whole pictures of your life. I can see fits in relationship dynamics (and the lack of them). I can fit a career to a life’s purpose. I can put the fragments of your life into a frame work that allows you to see them completely and move forward confidently.
Dyslexics have right hemisphere skills in the brain, yet lack skills in the left. The right hemisphere of the brain controls the aesthetic, feeling and creative. The left hemisphere takes care of logic, analysis and language.
As an example of this, buying a motorcycle will highlight the differences in how people’s lives are affected depending on whether they are predominantly right or left brained thinkers. A person who is predominantly a left brain thinker would appreciate the mechanics and the performance of the motorcycle. Whereas a right brained thinker will be influenced by the shape, colour and overall beauty of the machine. The left hemisphere sees the motorcycle in parts, with the right brain seeing it as a whole.
The right hemisphere of the brain is also where our intuition comes from. A baby girl will gaze into their mother’s eyes very soon in their development. They are looking for subtle clues about the world around them by looking at their mother’s reaction and interpreting it. Baby boys have a slower development as their brain has testosterone, which makes them want to experience the world for themselves. Understanding this goes someway to explain why intuition has been seen to be mostly a female gift. My female clients often wish their male partners would come to see me for a consultation. They tell me, he won’t come because he is sceptical, this page is mostly written for those men, as it is often they who don’t have natural intuition, that need to see me the most. Women need to see me when they are blocked at being able to see for themselves.
So as well as being able to see the whole picture of your life, I can also see where blocks and ideas originated intuitively.
I am also what is known as an I-strength dyslexic, which means I have an interdisciplinary rather than a specialized approach when take on problems or when teaching. I even have an interdisciplinary studies degree from California institute of integral studies. I am a multiple specialist in self-development, spirituality, business, performance, community and global issues, which is priceless if you want someone who can look at you and your life as a whole. I see the whole story and the relationship connections in a way that is unique to I-strength dyslexics.
I peal back layers, make connections and don’t stop until I reveal what was hiding in plain sight, making most of my clients think ‘why didn’t I notice that before?’
In addition to this I have a love of psychology. I have read many books in the self-development field, from psychotherapy, parapsychology, how the mind works and life coaching. Of course I decided not to get a qualification in these as I felt it was important to be able to use all skills and not be labelled with some else’s methodology. Instead over the years of being in practice I have created my own. My method is to believe that all people are unique, no method could possibly fit everyone and that the best method is to listen. I don’t mean just to what a client is saying, but the space even in between the words. To sit in the company of someone who can really hear you on multiple levels of knowing is healing in itself. But then to have that person create clarity when you’re in a fog is what I excel at. I am the catalyst that turns the light back on behind your eyes which allows the fog to clear.
I read people, emotionally, spiritually, physically and physiologically using intuition. Using my expansive tool box of skills from my learning, I then set about giving you what you need to know to make your next moves.
Intuition can be felt in the body (somatic) the mind, the emotions and even the spirit. I feel mine most in the mind, body and emotions, this is known as being a ‘sensitive’. I am sensitive to the world around me. As everything that exists is described in science as having a frequency of vibration, I hear those frequencies as if they were audible music to everyone else’s ears. It’s as if every human has a theme tune and I am able to hear if their tune is in or out of harmony with different aspects of their life and the tunes of the people around them. The way my mind works allows me to interpret these sounds into pictures and ideas that are practical for the client.
It’s not paranormal; it’s just a brain abnormality and a passion for understanding people, a very useful brain abnormality at that.
If we stopped thinking of psychic ability as ‘special power’s and all mystical’, I believe neuroscience would prove that the brain works in different ways for different people, and as in the film ‘Rainman’ some people have a skill for remembering dates and numbers, some have a skill for intuitive knowing.
Richard Branson, Bill Gates and Steve Jobs have all said they use intuition for business and let’s face it, they have had quite a bit of success with it.Firstly, it’s a time and energy saver. Making decisions with your mind requires that you think, weigh up pros and cons, acquire information and often get stressed. After all of this thinking is done, the chances are you will go with the very first decision you made. You often know intuitively what to do, but we are taught that we need to have evidence for what we know. In an uncertain world, how realistic is the feeling of being certain? Imagine all the time and effort you could have saved if you moved on that very first impulse.
Know your future employees. Often what looks great on paper might not be so great in real life. It’s very easy to say yes to the right things in an interview and not have the capacity when it comes to the crunch. Employing the wrong people can be costly to a company.
Many headhunting firms are moving on from the personality questionnaire and, instead, using the skills of a high level intuitive to read their potential clients. Intuitive listening is when you can hear someone with more than your ears, you can read them, picking up emotional suitability and how a person will interact in the team. You can develop these intuitive skills yourself to make you a better listener, able to divert problems in your team before they arrive.
When you work with intuition you are able to have genius ideas that pop up out of nowhere. If you follow entrepreneurs who work with intuition such as those listed above, they seem to be able to know what business to sell or when to buy, just at the right moment and also come up with ideas that could be considered to be futuristic. It is my belief that many of us get these ideas, but simply don’t act upon them. Often something that has never been done before is overlooked precisely because no one has done it. It is those who don’t need validation who take the risks that often pay off.
It’s not possible to avoid all problems using intuition, but we need not we limit ourselves to the belief that we can only know what we know by thinking, when there is strong evidence in favour of the multiple ways we can know what we know.
An easy adjustment you can make to your everyday life, which will increase your intuition, is to become curious. That might sound a little simple, but by becoming curious about a problem, we engage the right hemisphere of the brain, which is where intuitive thinking stems from. We then open ourselves up to receive the information we need to solve the problem. Intuition has to be received rather than something we can seek out and grab. By being curious, in general, we change how we hear the world and become open to knowing more clearly what we really need to focus on.
When all the over thinking and analysing stops we discover there is a central part of ourselves, which knows the answer. That’s intuition. So why bother with the over thinking in the first place?
I have discovered that many people don’t use their intuition because they don’t want to be responsible for acting on it. Over thinking can be a procrastination tool to avoid doing something to change a situation that you will be accountable for, which is scary if you think there is any chance of it going wrong!
I’m often asked by clients ‘What am I meant to do?’ For there to be a ‘meant’ then there has to be someone on the other end of meant who has a meaning for you. This implies that if you don’t react correctly to this secret mission, you’ll get it wrong and your whole life will run off track and the testy blighter who came up with the secret mission will be very cross with you indeed!
This is giving your power of free will away. The issue with this is that free will is unavoidable.
You have free will and you have to make choices and even if all of your choices are not good ones, you still have to choose.
Not cutting straight to the answer can cause more pain in the long run. Starting with your intuitive knowing and then looking for evidence that it’s the right decision for you, is easier that getting knotted up in procrastination of an indigestible truth.
So next time you find yourself in a tangle of over thinking, stand still for a moment, put your hand on your heart and simply ask ‘What does love say to this?’ Stay still until the tension in your body shifts. It’s like an out breath of emotion. You then have your answer, you might not be able to put it into words, but you’ll know what’s right for you.
It’s ten years since the 7 July London bombings of 2005. There were a series of coordinated suicide bomb attacks in central London that day. Lives were lost and lives changed beyond recognition that day.
I was living in London at the time and working from home that day. The first I heard of it was getting a call from one of my students Amisha. You’ll see the video of my interview with her and I’m sure you will agree, she is a delightful woman who you would bottle if you could and keep her preserved just the way she is. Well in fact over the past 10 years, she hasn’t changed a bit!
Amisha was on the train that a bomb explode on soon after leaving Kings Cross station. She called me as soon as she got out of the station to thank me for the classes in intuition. She believed she was really meant to be on that train, which is a kind of odd thing to say. She had just jumped on as the door was closing. After the bomb people were screaming and there was no lighting and the smoke was getting thinker, she said she just knew she was going to be fine and that she was there for the other people.
So she calmed people down, and gave reiki healing. Before she knew it her carriage was making plans and being very orderly and calm. If she hadn’t got the skill of intuition, she might have been freaking out like everyone else.
This is a difficult thing to write with the full awareness of other people not being so lucky. But if you want to know why I am so passionate about teaching people how to use their intuition and why I wrote ‘You Do Know - learning to act on intuition INSTANTLY!’, this is why. I’m not saying Amisha was seeing into the future. But she moved down the station platform away from the danger on a feeling. That feeling could be sensing the emotions of the person with ill intent. How ever you care to explain it, being awake intuitively to what's going on around you, is one thing you can take from this blog. The other is the power of turning what ever you face into a blessing. Again, with full respect to those not as lucky as Amisha.
When it comes to making a decision, how many times do you find yourself going over the same thing in your mind?
The likelihood is for an important decision it can be beyond 20 times. 95% of the thoughts you have are the same thoughts you had yesterday. You get stuck in a ritual of weighing up the pros and cons, asking friends and family for advice. Often this leads to even more confusion. Yet when it boils down to it, you knew the answer all along. Energetically it’s the same as using the accelerator on your car and then wasting that momentum by slamming your foot on the break. No more or less nauseating when upon reflection how many times have found yourself saying, ‘I knew that’. Intuitive hindsight is often 20/20 vision, but sadly backwards.
The problem is that what you knew intuitively right from the very start has no words.
It’s not a knowing that you can calculate in the brain in your head, it’s more an inner knowing, which is all too easy to overlook and discount. At school we are taught to have reason and logic behind our answers. So we often don’t trust our intuition has answers with no-words. The intuitive knowing comes from one of two other brains. This might be news to you, but yes, medically you have three brains - one in your head, one in your gut and one in your heart.
Gut Brain: Embedded in the line of the intestines is the enteric nervous system, with hundreds of millions of neurons – one thousandth the number in your brain. In the medical world this network is termed the ‘second brain’ and controls the gut function. Gut neurons communicate with the brain through the vagus nerve which runs from the base of the brain to the chest and abdomen.
Heart Brain: Your heart has its own independent nervous system. Like the gut there are at least forty thousand neurons (nerve cells) in the heart. This is as many as are found in various subcortical centres of the brain.
When you learn to trust your intuition, you can act on the information it is giving you, instantly. By doing so you are cutting out a large amount of stress, worry and even anxiety out of your life. In fact, your life speeds up. This doesn’t mean you get older faster, what it does mean is that you get more done in your day with more energy to do it. You start to live in flow with the universe as you are in direct communication with it. By living in flow and movement you’re not wasting your effort trying to control your life. Only your ego believes it driving your life, everything other part of you knows that when you let go of the idea of ‘I’ we are in flow with the truth and we are at one with everything. You don’t just know it, you feel it! Your body is made up of multiple ways of knowing.
In this modern age, when we are bombarded with information, you can cut through right to the clarity of what is true for you.
What’s more is when you start trusting your intuition, you are able to make good decisions about other people, allowing you to open your heart bravely and make connections closer than you ever thought possible.
However, here is the small print: living intuitively is like living at altitude, just because you know, you have to be willing to act on what you know. This is why I wrote the book ‘You Do Know – learning to act on your intuition instantly’, because, in the flow of life, you are fast, beautiful and courageous.
Foggy thinking and lack of clarity can cause blocks in creativity, of formulating ideas and problem solving. Clarity is a stress busting state of being. With clarity we can move faster and feel like we are living at altitude looking down on our life with the perspective of knowing the next right move.
We might all like a looking glass into the future, but sometimes fears in the present fog up thinking, so we can’t see what is likely obvious and would smack us in the face with clarity if we would only let go and let it.
This is why I believe in the catnap!
Over thinking can be the worst way to come up with answers. There are multiple ways in which we know what we know and the thoughts in our head are likely to tell us what we already know, with no room for new or inspiring insights to download.
In fact our body is a holder of information and insight, with a brain in the heart, the gut and, new research coming out, even in the genitals! These are real brains, like the one in your head. So our local mind doesn’t hold all of the answers.
By taking a catnap not only does it give the subconscious mind the opportunity to process the random thoughts that might fog up our thinking, but it also allow all of the parts of the self to rest and filter through the intuition’s inner knowledge.
Often after a catnap we have the answer in less time than it would have taken to weigh up the pros and cons of any situation.
This is why people say ‘sleep on it’ - it’s not just a case of the answers presenting themselves in time, but also to allow one’s self to connect with what is true on a much deeper level.
So enjoy a little snooze, even if it’s just to close your eyes a while on public transport, from space much clarity can be found.
Breaking news this week was that Prof McNulty from Florida State University has proven scientifically that our Gut level responses are a powerful tool in predicting whether people stay happy in their marriage.
The study is published in the Journal Science says that the test gauges the true feelings of newly-weds towards each other, rather than what they consciously believe to be true. His team interviewed 135 newly-wed couples just after their nuptials. The researchers asked them to evaluate their marriage related to positive and negative adjectives such as "good", "bad", "satisfying" and "dissatisfying". They then measured their gut reaction to each other using their "love test", reports the BBC.
However what the test failed to do is explain how the gut instinct works.
Embedded in the lining of the intestines, is the enteric nervous system, with hundreds of millions of neurons – one thousandth the number in your brain. Gut neurons communicate with the brain through the vagus nerve, which runs from the base of the brain to the chest and abdomen. This ‘gut reaction’ happened to protect us from danger. Using the gut we could sense predators before we saw them with our own eyes. The clearest connection between the gut and the mind is how we experience anxiety and stress. A gut instinct is when we have a reaction to something we may find fearful. Making decisions through this form of intuition means that we make choices out of fear or defence. So the gut can tell you who NOT to marry, but it can’t tell you who will bring you the most happiness in a marriage!
There are, in fact, two forms of intuition as I write about in my book ‘You DO Know – learning to act on intuition instantly’. The second form of intuitive knowing is often discounted because it has no words. It is rooted in emotion. For example, when we have an excited, expansive feeling and we simply know, we may not understand why we know, we just know. This second intuition centre comes from your heart. The heart has its own independent nervous system. Like the gut there are at least forty thousand neurons (nerve cells) in the heart. This is as many as are found in various subcortical centres of the brain.
Following this heart lead intuition can lead to remarkable life changes, as your decisions become about the expansion of who you are rather then limiting yourself to avoiding pain or fearful situations. On a personal level of using heart-based intuition means you can make quicker decisions about what is right for you, which also means less stress. It also means that you can open your heart more widely to people as you know who you can trust, making it the intuition to follow for love. Next time you hear ‘follow your heart’ you will understand it’s not a brainless act after all.
It is well documented that great thinkers have put many of their ideas down to an intuitive knowing. Yet sometimes what you know intuitively can be overlooked because it comes to you in such a ‘Durr, no brainer, like obvious, who wouldn't know that’ that you can overlook your genius!
I just attended a talk by English biologist and author of ‘The God Delusion’ Richard Dawkins. In this talk he explains how Patrick Matthew (20 October 1790 – 8 June 1874) published the principle of natural selection as a mechanism of evolution in 1831, over a quarter-century earlier than Charles Darwin and Alfred Russel Wallace. However, Matthew failed to develop or publicise his ideas because he didn’t see the full significance of what he had discovered. As it wasn’t a discovery... it was an intuitive knowing.
Matthew is quoted as saying "To me the conception of this law of Nature came intuitively as a self-evident fact, almost without an effort of concentrated thought. Mr. Darwin here seems to have more merit in the discovery than I have had; to me it did not appear a discovery. He seems to have worked it out by inductive reason, slowly and with due caution to have made his way synthetically from fact to fact onwards; while with me it was by a general glance at the scheme of Nature that I estimated this select production of species as an à priori recognisable fact—an axiom requiring only to be pointed out to be admitted by unprejudiced minds of sufficient grasp."
In my book ‘You Do Know – Learning to act on intuition instantly’ there is several revolutionary ideas I am passionate and yet also finding it frustrating as the book hasn't been out long and I am jumping the bite to get it out onto the world. You know when you have a great knowledge that will change the way people see their lives, yet because you didn’t pop it out of a test tube its often overlooked by the media which is of course the platform you need to reach a tipping point in the masses to make it become a ‘knowing/understanding in our society. We living in a noisy world shouting with ideas, and the money making ones are the loudest. Are we losing brilliant ideas under the volume?
Richard Dawkins has a platform for his ideas. In his talk he said a line and I nearly jumped out of my seat to shout ‘I can explain that, I know why that happens!’ luckily for everyone in the room especially the security guides I didn’t yell give me the MIC! (Even though I likely wouldn’t need it with my yell!) What Dawkins said to cause my reaction was: ‘The Origins of species (Darwin’s work) hit the Victorians hard in the solar plexus’. In my book ‘You Do Know’ I explain that the solar plexus chakra brings on board information in energy form and it is translated by the brain in the gut. Which is why Dawkins is using a description from his own feelings when ideas hit him with volume, Dawkins may very well use his gut brain intuition. Of course he will dismiss what I am saying as he dismisses Rupert Sheldrake work too. Yet here we have a documented historical moment when someone dismissed their intuition to their detriment. If my book would do as well as ‘The God Delusion’ it would be making the world a much better place, where we solve the problems, and don’t overlook the inner genius.
In a recent interview (to watch it see the clip below the blog) Russell Brand said whilst watching the news he ‘intuitively’ knows what to believe and what not to believe.
Something I have been shouting from the roof tops and have talked about in my book ‘You Do Know – Learning to act on intuition instantly’. I just sent Russell a copy.
Syria is a complicated situation and as Russell says in the interview, you don’t know what to believe but you know what not to believe.
Intuition knows without words, you can feel something is wrong about what you are being told right to your very core. The problem we have with intuitive knowing is you can’t express what you know in factual evidence. We live in a world where it’s a greater taboo to call someone a liar than to be one. However you can be in control of your choices when you understand the whole of a situation intuitively then when you understand the parts.
When you’re reading newspapers or watching the news, it makes no difference what the ‘factual’ evidence is most of which can be manipulated. It’s using your intuition as a discernment tool, by doing so you will know what to believe and what not to believe. What you are endorsing though your use of spending, voting, what you rise up in support of and what you rise up against, needs to be understood intuitively as well as logically.
We have much more control over our world than we think. The problem is when you become fearful, you can’t think clearly as you go into the wrong part of the brain to use your intuition. We then hit a point in psychology known as ambivalence. Often this state of ambivalence is caused by having to come to terms with a complex world of choice and the belief in right and wrong, good or bad decisions. It makes you hand over your power to someone else, maybe the person who manipulated you into becoming fearful in the first place!
Start looking with your intuition and you can’t be governed by fear based manipulation. You make your own choices and you stand strong for what you believe in. Intuition is the key to live with a lot less fear and better decisions.
Go Russell, it’s good that the Court Jester makes the court wake up to the King, right under his nose!
Do you pride yourself on being independent? Able to solve your own problems, you don’t need anyone? Often this starts in childhood, the moment you realise you are not going to get your needs met. Sometimes the need is a toy and your mum said no; and sometimes the need is something much bigger, such as a safe environment to play in. How safe you felt in childhood will have a direct impact on how able you are to trust other people as an adult.
You could choose to go into therapy and build a trusting relationship with a therapist, but to me the fastest route is to use your intuition. In my book ‘You Do Know’ I talk about how you don’t need to trust anyone else, just your intuition to make good decisions about who you trust.
When you use your intuition you can really understand other people and whether their motives come from love or ego (Fear).
It doesn’t stop us making mistakes with others in what we say or do, but we can intuitively understand their motivation.
Yet it gets better than this, much better. When your friend/lover/partner is able to read you back, there can be a fundamental force between the two of you. There is a level of trust that knits the two of you together in an understanding that defies words. Of course no-one is perfect and your partners are still your greatest teachers. You can think someone is being a real pain in the butt but love them anyway. In life it’s hard to let go, as we believe other people will judge us, so we are always on guard. When we open our hearts with intuition we are finally free to love.
We are able to intuitively hear each other. It’s not a just case of being able to finish each other’s sentences; it feels like flying.
Touring around giving talks in the past few weeks, I have been struck by one thing. People know they are intuitive, but that they are fearful of the life that following their intuition could give them.
It is after all a life of freedom, and that is a bit scary!
In my book ‘You Do Know – learning to act on intuition instantly’ I have taken great effort to not just teach how to use your intuition, but how to navigate your fear to in able you to act on your intuition. It’s one thing to ‘know’ it and another to ‘do it’ or even not do it. People are now telling me stories of the missed opportunities in their life that the book has been causing them to reflect upon.
Acting on intuition is fast, you have to move quickly, you need to get in and move before the moment has gone or before your mind clicks in with reasons why you shouldn’t do something. For many people this is just too scary, the book is written to support that. Getting something wrong in a split second decision can be painful, but not much in life is undoable. Regret seems to last forever like an ache in your bones that never goes away. We always regret what we don’t do far more than we regret what we do. You can always check in with your body about what your body wants to do. By bringing your attention into your body you can check in with your emotions. It is possible to feel the emotions you have underneath any fear based emotion. Quite often we become distracted by doing what we think is ‘right’ for the outside world rather than what is right for us.
We might not have explanation why you need to follow a road that is right for us, if it is one that is less travelled by everyone you know. Sometimes a stab in the dark is all we have to save our life.
One-year-old James is crying, turning to look at three-year-old Katie who is holding a yellow plastic spoon. Daddy asks, “Katie, did you hit James?” Katie replies, “Yes Katie hit James,” as she waves the plastic spoon enthusiastically. That kind of honesty is almost funny, but very soon Katie will learn that in order to get what she wants or avoid what she doesn’t want, she must lie.
We all do it. Like it or not, everyone lies to some extent. In the past few years, I have been practising honesty and authenticity, and it’s been hard. My stumbling block now is that I still avoid having difficult conversations and I’d rather let something go than be honest how I feel about it. The fear of rejection is imbedded in every human, right back from when being rejected would mean being kicked out of the tribe and certain death by a saber toothed cat.
They say there are only two kinds of fear, not getting what we want and losing what we have, so you can understand where the need to manipulate to get our needs met comes from. That is my defence on the part of the liar. However, my pet hates are being taken for a fool and when someone lies they take your choices away to make a decision with all of the facts.
We live in a time when we have access to more facts than ever before. Often, if I go and see the doctor, I have more information about my condition than the doctor. I have read up and learnt everything there is to know about one thing; the doctor is expected to be an expert in everything, which frankly isn’t possible. The same goes for buying a car, I might know more about one kind of car than the used car sales man standing on a lot of twenty different cars. Power to know is now with the people, thanks to the Internet. However in this time of information overload, how can you discern which details are correct?
For scary information I use my gut. If something is wrong with the information I am given, I feel it in my tummy. This might be a sick feeling, a tight feeling or even the need to take a pee.
If something is right I feel an excited feeling coming from my heart and a serge to move forward. Now, of course, falling in love can feel like this, and if you have ever fallen in love with someone you shouldn’t have fallen in love with, you might not trust this form of intuition. In addition, if you are a naturally nervous person your gut will be warning you about everything outside of your comfort zone.
We are stepping into an era when we need to become more honest than ever before. As our consciousness starts to shift you will find more news stories where transparency is being called for. Whenever there is a lie, chaos will soon follow. We used to see this as Karma, which often would take some time to come round. But now, you lie, deceive or not be your fully authentic self, and you’ll find that your life becomes chaos very quickly after. Whereas, if you know yourself, know your values and are true to your word, life will be so much easier.
When I was in my very late teens I went interrailing. You could go all over Europe with a Young Person’s Rail Card. So a friend and I took off on our European adventure and had an amazing experience. We would time our travel so we could sleep on the trains to avoid paying for accommodation.
One night, we were on a train that had compartments of six seats each. All the compartments were full as we moved down the train, and we were starting to worry that we might have to sleep standing up. We found one compartment full of men with two empty seats. It wasn’t the men I found a problem, the compartment felt somehow wrong. I took my friend by the arm and asked her to keep looking. She was too afraid of the idea of sleeping in the hallway and insisted we stayed in that compartment. As we walked in it felt like I was in a pea soup fog, my tummy was tight and the hairs stood up on my skin. Little did I know at the time, but this was my gut telling me to GET OUT!
As the night went on, one man took it upon himself to explore the inside of my leg. He didn’t get very far but the experience taught me a few important lessons. Firstly, at that age I had no skills to handle the situation - believe it or not, I didn’t want to make a fuss. The next lesson was that everyone else in the carriage watched or turned a blind eye, so you are on your own. The final lesson I learned is to act. Not only to act against what the man intended to do, but before even getting that far, to act upon my intuition.
Years later, when getting into a mini-cab in London, the same feeling came over me again. I opened the cab door and got right back out again. The driver was angry and started shouting. The younger me would have gone with the situation for fear of offending him. Often the fear of offending other people stops us acting on our intuition. We don’t want to upset anyone especially when we have no evidence for why we feel uncomfortable. Bizarrely, it’s a far bigger faux pas to call someone a liar then it is to be one. The main piece of advice I would give a young woman would be to trust your intuition. When something feels wrong it often is. Never fear upsetting your friends or offending someone’s sensibility. You might never know why you back out of doing something, but that is far better than wishing you had when it’s too late.
I was so upset by the young woman killed so horribly in India this week. It made me wonder if, just for one moment, as she stepped onto the bus she had that feeling inside that she should wait for the next one. Sadly we will never know. We hear so many tales of people with bad feelings about going to the twin towers or not boarding a flight that crashed. Sadly, we only hear the stories from the people who trusted their intuition. Let’s hope these stories increase to build a consensus that following your intuition is one of the best ways to be safe.
Not a Jamie Oliver recipe for a quick and easy relationship.Have you ever met someone and had such a strong connection with them, then wondered why the relationship didn’t last? Likely true for many people over the age of twenty, but I have started to notice something new, the completion of these connections is getting quicker.
It is my belief that you meet people for a reason; these are the connections that are hard to pull away from even when you know it’s going no-where. Often you meet this person and can’t walk away until something has completed. However you know when it has completed, it’s like a spell has been broken. If you leave before the connection has reached its completion you can get stuck. These people than become someone you always somehow reflect back on, sometimes for the rest of your life.
Just recently I have had lots of calls from clients wanting to know what a love connection was all about. Often it’s hard to see for yourself because you are feeling disappointed or looking for the reason it didn’t work out. The switch is to look at how it did work out and find out from that, what the soul mate connection was all about. What’s really interesting is that these relationships are being completed in a month, a week and sometimes even a day, and if your Paloma Faith 30 minutes!
Intuitively we know we can help this person, or some way they can help us. Often you are helping each other without even realising it. These connections give us a leap in our understanding of ourselves. A rescue point from a road we might have been on or one we could have been if they hadn’t walked into our lives. Rather than feel the loss, have gratitude for such a wonderful connection, the fruits of which may never become apparent. Just so that even if something has completed quickly, it’s likely as far as it had to go. Just remember in any heartache your life has been changed for the better because of it.
Thank you Russell Brand, I couldn't have put it better myself... well actually I did, but it took me a whole book to get to the point!
An excerpt from My book 'You Do Know - learning to act on intuition instantly':
You can’t know about God, but you can ‘know’ God. It’s hard to come up with a better word than God, but it is linked with so many different ideas defining ‘God.’ I would like to use the term ‘the Knowing’ but it sounds like the title of a movie. So let’s just stick with God, with the understanding that it is the word used for the energy force of creation. Part of the problem with trying to find the right word for God is that there shouldn’t be a word. Words limit and contextualize something that you simply can’t understand with the mind. We can know God, but not in a way that can be discussed – only in a way that can be felt. To me, to know God is a form of intuitive knowing, almost like bringing yourself into a place of total stillness from which you are in connection with everything. In that place we no longer have the thoughts of ‘this is this and I am that.’ It is quite beautiful. Using inner knowing to find God is how we all connect fully.
For many people this connection happens when they are at their lowest ebb, when they are sending out a prayer for God’s help, and finally stop the noise in their head to listen for an answer. When the soul-searching moves inward it is because everything external hasn’t worked, when there really is nowhere else to turn but inward. Some people have found this moment when a loved one is missing or near death, when they feel that everything in life is lost, when the bills can’t be paid, or when they get sick.
Every moment there are only two decisions to make. You can choose love or fear, love or ego. By choosing to live it was a case of fighting fear and to keep choosing love. And if I were to describe my work as an ‘intuitive therapist and catalyst’ simply, it is to be a guide to make choosing love easier.
It seems that every time I have watched the news this year, there has been a report of truth being revealed from the back of a cover-up: banking crisis, Jimmy Saville, Hillsborough disaster, phone tapping to name but a few.
Something is shifting. I believe we are starting to breakdown our archetypes. Archetypes are the masks we put on; sub-personalities are another word for them. They are aspects of the ego we put into place to protect ourselves. We can also describe this as ‘putting on a front’.
The problem is we sometimes get so lost into these characters we can think that they are truly who we are. We can then also believe that the stories these archetypes tell us are true. Often an archetype will switch around the truth of a situation in order to be right. For example a young girl who was having problems with an ended friendship said to me that her ex-friend sent her a nasty text telling her not to talk about her behind her back, ruining her reputation with other friends. She was very upset and said ‘I haven’t said anything!’ She had only just been telling me what the others girls had said about this girl. Therefore she had been talking behind her back. I pointed this out, to which she said ‘Yes but, I only called her a liar, I didn’t call her a slag’. The ego can twist things so that calling her a liar to mutual friends doesn’t constitute as ruining her reputation. We have an amazing capacity with the ego to twist all kinds of justifications for our actions.
Yet we are seeing a shift to the truth coming out. Not just on the part of the story teller, but also on the part of the listener. We are starting to get to a point where we are no-longer willing to turn a blind eye.
For as long as I can remember it is a bigger faux pas to call someone a liar than to be one.
We are starting to not turn a blind eye because we are longing for transparency. We are so fed up with being told lies. Every part of how we live our lives seems to have been infected and the cost with new emerging stories is getting greater.
The truth is we do intuitively know when we are being lied to, but we decide not to act upon it. Sometimes it’s embarrassment, sometimes we don’t trust ourselves and sometimes it’s because we are too lazy to stand up to the consequences. As part of the shift of consciousness we so badly need to have a better life, I believe all of these realisations that are coming out now will change our values. I have seen the change already start to happen in my clients. More authentic emotion lead conversations have been happening in families. I have seen people step away from relationships that weren’t working that they just didn’t want to be honest with themselves about. There is an unveiling happening of our fake selves, opening our hearts up to our vulnerability. Interestingly enough, we are always vulnerable until we come together. It is the openness to our vulnerable selves that is the glue that makes the bond to give us the security we were expecting from hiding.
Intuition is the key to see through the lies you are presented with. Intuition is the key to know who to open your heart to.
I’m hearing the word ‘Gut’ everywhere! From Will-I-am saying how he follows his gut on The Voice to doctors, dieticians and nutritionists. The reason all these medical people are whispering it into my ears, is because I recently found out I have coeliac disease. It’s been one of the best realisations ever! Not just because I feel healthy and on top of the world without gluten (did you know they make super glue from gluten!) but because my intuition has gone through the roof!
I know, I have heard all that stuff ‘you are what you eat’ but I didn’t think it would have any effect on my intuition, I have heard of a ‘gut instinct’ but I always thought that was because the solar plexus chakra is very good at going out into the world, even forward in time a few seconds and bringing back intuitive information. However scientific evidence is showing there may be more to your guts than you might think.
Embedded in the line of the intestines is the enteric nervous system, with hundreds of millions of neurons – one thousandth the number in your brain. This network is termed the second brain and controls the gut function. Gut neurons communicate with the brain through the vagus nerve which runs from the base of the brain to the chest and abdomen. The clearest connection between the gut and the mind and is how we experience anxiety and stress.
It is my belief that there are two forms of intuition, heart intuition based in love and the gut instinct is based in fear. I believe our solar plexus chakra picks up signals from people or situations and looks for them to be dangerous, a repeat of something that hurt us in our past or simply not in alignment with what we want. This information is then absorbed by the sacral chakra; the body absorbs this information and turns it into somatic intuition. This in turn is then understood by the gut, it is at this point the gut sends this information for analysis by the brain. The stomach is our understanding of what we are digesting from the outside world, not just in our food and water, but in our emotions to.
Although the gut instinct is very important it can lead to problems if we have a very active solar plexus. What makes the solar plexus active is our psychology; it is our belief in our capacity to feel safe in the world. If we don’t trust ourselves to cope, or trust the world to be a good place, our solar plexus will be active to try and give us the intuitive heads up on impending doom!
What this has to do with the rise in Coeliac disease or the rise in IBS is anyone’s guess, yet I believe there is a link between the fearful thoughts we are assaulted with every day in the media, the over produced food we eat and our own personal sense of empowerment. By cutting gluten out of my diet I have discovered an intuitive clarity I never thought was possible. Rather than understanding other people better, I understand my own human psychology far more deeply and I am less of a victim of the ego triggers once they are presented.
Ref: Moheb Costandi neurobiologist. See neurophilosophy in the Guardian newspaper.
This film is a talk by Deepak Chopra and it's really worth a watch, only 10 mins long and he goes on to explain something I call 'Evolutionary intuition'. Evolutionary intuition is for connecting with life itself. How intuition can connect you to a level of awakening and understand intuitively a level if divinity we can't sense with the normal 5 sense. More information on Evolutionary intuition on-line courses: www.evolutionaryintuition.com
Deepak Chopra explains how we can become a witness of our lives. He teaches that intuition is an intelligence that moves beyond the rational mind and taps into cosmic intelligence.