Finding our tribe

I spent fifteen years working in the theatre industry and what I found was that every show had an audience. An audience isn’t a group of random people, an audience is a group of people who have a commonality. Not just having something in common, like a love of Shakespeare or Opera. They often have a ‘vibe’ that almost hums to the same tune.

We like to think that we are unique, but we have a desire to fit in far more than we may care to admit.

Finding our tribe is a need to have a sense of belonging. Within that tribe, we want to find a home. If you have ever had that feeling of not belonging it’s quite unsettling. We are biologically programmed to feel a sense of belonging within a community. It’s ingrained in our D and A. That’s why we care so much about what other people think of us. Even though the truth is no-one really clearly thinks anything about us. What someone thinks about you, is only in relation to how they feel about themselves.

When we find people with a commonality it can feel euphoric. Even if it’s only for one night at a music concert. When it comes to working together and forming friendships, it can produce great creativity as we feel safe to take risks.

When it comes to communication, it's not about the words we speak, we also need to understand the vibration the other person is humming. That way we can prove we fit into their audience. Like a chameleon changing colour with its background, we can make other people feel safe to explore and grow. The first step is to intuitively read your audience. Some people you wouldn't want to 'vibe' with, but when it comes to getting a job done, we collaborate better with people we feel we connect to. We also buy from people we 'like, know and trust!' Intuitively listening is key to better bonding in our communication skills.